Thursday, January 7, 2010
"Use what talents you possess: the woods would be very silent if no birds sang there except those that sang best." - Henry Van Dyke
As this cold front passes through keep your local birds in mind. Most winter birds eat seeds such as black sunflower seeds. Use this link for more information on winter bird feeding. Make sure you stock up on bird feed and make sure you keep the feed in the feeders. I have noticed 3-4 times as many birds using our feeders the last couple of days and have been filling them daily. Also try to provide a water source. This can be difficult with freezing temperatures, but is necessary for your birds.
Humor for the day. Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer.
In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know me?'
She responded, 'Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you'll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.'
The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?'
She again replied, ' Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him.'
The defense attorney nearly died.
The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said, 'If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you both to the electric chair.'